How much does it cost for a Juice Plus Convention?

 

It's all systems go as Jenny and her "team" prepare for the 2016 Juice Plus Convention in Birmingham.

The convention apparently gives distributors like Jenny the opportunity to rub shoulders with the big players of the company. It is an opportunity to build your network, establish contacts and get wealth-generating tips on how to grow your JP business into a mega bucks industry.

So far, as documented on this blog, Jenny's sales and recruitment figures have been awful. At best, she currently has three distributors recruited and made a couple of sales earlier this month. Currently, the number of people in her Facebook page is now 537. That means that if she were to sell £20 worth of stock to each person in that number (for the sake of argument assuming every one is a unique person not including me, herself or distributors), she would make £10,740. That's without taking into account tax and the amount that goes to JP and her uplines. That's horrendous figures for a company that she has claimed can make you a six figure sum in less than two years.

Anyway, to the convention. When people go on business trips, as Jenny has decided to call this, the person's travel and accommodation expenses are covered by the employer/whoever he/she is representing. If I personally were to be representing my boss at an event, I would stand to be reimbursed. That's how these things work.

But not for JP. For a company that's all about including people in the get-rich-quick scheme, they sure seem very reluctant to help their distributors with the cost of attending these events.

So how much does it cost to attend a JP convention? I tallied together three key issues: the cost of travel, the cost of accommodation and the cost, if any, for attendance. As the conference is a Friday and Saturday event I assume Jenny will be heading there on the Thursday and leaving the Sunday morning. Here are the results.

1) Flight tickets

Last time, Jenny and her "team" flew to the convention which I assume they will be doing again. How much is the cheapest from Jenny's nearest airport to Birmingham?

 

£109.

2) Cost of accommodation

I went for a typical budget hotel chain you get here in the UK.I have no doubt you can probably find a better deal with a bit of digging, but I generally could not be bothered so assume this is an average rate for a three night stay in Birmingham.

£190.50.

3) Cost of attendance

Would you be shocked if I told you that yes, JP charge their distributors to attend the convention? To be honest I don't think you would be. I mean, it should be what, a tenner/£15 max in order to spread the cost of hiring out that big centre, right?

£50. Five zero. Fifty. And that's for the early bird ticket otherwise you have to pay £60 and a £4.25 booking fee. That's roughly the cost of a ticket to see an Arsenal FC match at the Emirates stadium. It's double the cost of a typical standing ticket to see a pop star like Justin Bieber. So how on earth does it cost so much to hear people tell you you're going to get rich? Well, JP doesn't say.

The overall cost of travel, accommodation and attendance of the Juice Plus 2016 Birmingham Convention stands at £349.50.

That figure doesn't even take into account other factors such as the cost of inter-city transport, the cost of food, the cost of alcohol at the "glam party" or the cost of merchandise Jenny and her "team" may buy at the convention. To cover that, Jenny would need to sell an average £20 JP product to 17.4 people - and that would be assuming that she got 100% of the sales, which she wouldn't.

The conclusion? This is a very costly business trip to hear people give you advice on how to make money. It doesn't seem to register to Jenny that a core concept of business is to keep costs low. Whatever profit you make goes up in smoke if you continue to blow away money on nonsense like this.

But JP don't care. They're making money out of the very people who think they'll be getting rich off JP. Something about biting the hand that feeds you springs to mind.

Enjoy your trip, Jenny.

You've failed already, Jenny

This has got to be the saddest attempt at weight loss I have ever seen. Everything in there is just plain wrong.

1. "Once you over indulge" implies that it is inevitable that you are going to overeat this Christmas. That's simply not true. There is nothing stopping you from saying "no thanks" to an extra slice of Christmas pudding. Learn a little self-control.

2. This begs the question of what JP actually does to help people lose weight. Really, all someone needs to do to lose weight is to eat less. That's all there is to it. Simple changes that can help achieve this cost nothing - the one that springs to mind most of all is to cut out calory-dense drinks with water or sugar-free cola.

3. I have never understood why people wait until New Years day to make changes. There is nothing stopping you from making these changes right now. When I started my weight loss journey it began in late October 2014; by the time New Years day came along I already had two months worth of progress to motivate me into the year.

The above point is why I know already that Jenny's health kick is doomed to fail. She has absolutely no self-control, she has absolutely no motivation. Jenny will use the remaining week of 2015 to stuff her face with junk, knowing that her kick doesn't kick off until 2016. When it comes along, she'll struggle bad, she'll cheat on meals, she'll give up the gym, and then it's back to square one by February.

And in all that time, she'll be asking people to buy "healthy" JP junk and to listen to her weight loss advice. You couldn't make it up.

Facebook count: 538. Will we reach below 500? Time will tell, but I actually think we will.

A Double Whammy for Jenny

Two posts today.

The top one was a "lol" moment that should, once again, tell Jenny that demand for JP products is extremely low in this group. Barely anybody except her fellow distributors respond to them.

This time, Jenny decided to ask people how much weight they would like to "loose" (sic) this New Year and gave people a choice of emojis to use. You'd think that the blonde lady's response would be encouraging - a possible sale perhaps - but no, because the emoji she used corresponded to "happy with the weight I am". I have no doubt that Jenny hated "liking" that post.

The second post is a brilliant example of why stupid people shouldn't use analogies. In my earlier, sad ass days, I'd spend a couple hours a day arguing on internet forums. One thing I learned is that many people out there simply do not understand how analogies work. For the comparison to be valid, the two things need to have similar, if not the same, qualities.

Jenny's cut-n-paste job is a fantastic flavour of stupid, claiming that as a piece of jewellery may go up in value, so too can your Juice Plus business to the tune of a six figure income within two years.

There's plenty of reasons for why that is just nonsense. To start with, jewellery, to my knowledge, does not go "up" in value other than with inflation. If you buy a ring that is worth £69, then chances are you have bought a tacky piece of junk that doesn't even have real jewels in it. It's the kind of crap you would buy from Argos.

Second, the chances of your JP "business" shooting up to six figures by just paying £50 is insane. This goes back to Clara who Jenny sees as a kind of demi-god who apparently joined the franchise then started rolling in crazy sums of money. Ignore that she's a thin, attractive woman who is perfect to model the JP "health" image, ignore that nothing is said about her husband's career who could well be funding their lifestyle moreso than she is, ignore the fact that she does not explain remotely how she made that amount of alleged income.

That last point is important. As mentioned plenty of times on this blog already, the JP model flies in the face of business common sense. Businesspeople do not want to sell away parts of their business if it means others may well be getting profits and saturating the market. It only works for franchises (i.e. McDonalds) and pyramid schemes like JP because the companies/people who do buy into the business are obliged to turn in some, if not most of, the profits back to the company. The people at the top make the big money and the people at the bottom, like Jenny, get the scraps.

For someone like Jenny to become a big earner requires her to sign up hundreds, if not thousands, of distributors and sell the products like hotcakes. But in order to sign up more people, she has to saturate the market; she has to increase competition in her catchment area so more people in her city and beyond are looking for people to sell and get recruited into the company. Recruiting people into the company is only good for Jenny is she instigates it and thus gets a slice of commission. Other people joining new members means nothing for her.

Does this sound like a business model that, within two years, will have you rolling in money even as you sleep? Of course not.

I also note that in Jenny's recent profile picture her arm is up. Underneath is horrifically sagging skin due to excess weight. I'm saying this again not to be rude against her, to make fun of her, but to be brutally honest: she is obese. It is the upmost of cheek for her to think that she can advise people to make healthy life choices.

Jenny, heed your own advice. 2015 was a wasted year. How about you make 2016 a year of proper change where you first of all educate yourself on health, nutrition and diet, leave this scam of a business that has no interest in you making money and earn some self-respect instead of being a fat-assed hypocrite.

The choice is yours, Jenny.

Updates from Jenny's Juice Plus Farce

Reminder: "Jenny" is a fictional name for a Juice Plus (JP) peddler who is ironically obese yet sells health products as if they are wonder products. She is a 21st century snake oil saleswoman. All efforts are made to keep her real identity anonymous.

So, it's been a while since my  last post, what has Jenny been up to?

The short answer is just "the usual". Spamming recruitment and sales posts. New "team" members? Zero. Sales? Two. Fantastic results for a sure-fire-way-to-make-money business.

Since my last post that exposed Jenny's incident with advertising standards, she has actually launched a new promotion: buy a JP product from her in December and you enter a draw to win £100. Wowee! It appears that nobody was tempted by this deal, so after a couple of posts about it Jenny has swept this promotion under the rug.

A post she made today spurred me on to type this one up. It's nothing different, it's yet another recruitment pitch that exposes JP for the pyramid scheme that it is.

You'd think the penny would drop for Jenny but... no. She has either deluded herself into believing the rubbish shovelled up by JP or she genuinely does not have the intelligence to figure out why this is a scam.

Just because your friends may get fed up of seeing your spam doesn't mean that they are bad people; it means that they have got fed up seeing you, their friend, gullibly fall for what is nothing more than a scam. That's not their issue, it's yours.

Furthermore, again, as I've said before, the international aspect of JP is meaningless. A customer in Canada is going to buy from a distributor in Canada; they are not going to think "hmm, I know someone in the UK who sells this stuff, I'll buy it from them!"

The haters don't pay your wages, sure, but your employer - JP - pays a ridiculous rate based on your commission and recruitment figures. That's why it's so important for you to recruit people; it's about their sales from membership subscriptions and commission, not because they want the average person on the street to get rich. The "haters" are just normal people who can see a scam for what it is.

Finally, it's not negativity from stopping people joining JP. It's reality. In reality, JP is a scam. In reality, business is not a big yay-lets-hug-each-other-and-make-a-big-club-where-everyone-in-it-makes-cash. The dream business environment is domination of the market with a never-ending demand for your product, which is completely against the JP model of saturating the market with distributors which in turn reduces demand and customers at the same time.

Since the last post, Jenny's Facebook count is down to 543. I'm amazed that still, in December, there is a steady decline in her group numbers. I always think that we've reached the bedrock of people who are friends, family or oblivious to being members. But the counter still goes down.